Today I have learned something new about myself. Failure is actually okay, although I do not always appreciate the opportunities. I would like to take this enormous amount of pain I am feeling and turn it into a learning opportunity.
I would like to teach this to my children, so they will not have to suffer as much as I do with "coming up short".
I want them to know that it is okay to be imperfect. I hope they would know that, even if they try their best, they may not succeed-but that does not mean that they should just give up.
There were almost 90 applicants to the Communication Sciences and Disorders Master's program, and I did not make the cut. While, in the current moment, I feel completely and utterly worthless-I am beginning to see that this is all a part of the growing process. Maybe I am just meant to stay at home and be with a newborn. Perhaps that is my actual calling for a little while, as opposed to becoming a speech language pathologist. We shall see what the future holds I suppose. Maybe I will be happier than I can ever imagine, as I have been hearing happens to new moms. Life is such a mysterious journey.
I digress.
Tomorrow I will get to spend some quality time with my wonderful friend Ashley! I am very excited and very sad that I had to bail on her tonight, because I was just so down. We will probably get to have dinner together and she might even help me pick out something to wear for graduation (but that may have to wait for the weekend, when Nicole gets into town!). I am so proud of all of us for making out of college alive and life will be quite an adventure-I can tell. :-)
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